Pie Yoga

Yeah, I’ve been exercising all my adult life, regularly. I’ve probably missed, oh, 39,950 out of the last 40,000 times. But it’s the thought that counts, isn’t it? Once every three months, like clockwork. That’s “regular,” isn’t it?

My sister belongs to the same gym. She is my exercise hero and guru. She is the older sister, and therefore, annoyingly disciplined, above reproach, faithful and true, and consequently in much better shape than I am. She is always trying to get me to exercise more. STILL BOSSING ME IN OUR OLD AGE!!!

Occasionally, we meet for a quickie. We stand shoulder to shoulder on twin whirring treadmills, like two German-Danish gerbils.

We practice Varsity Oxygen Depletion. That is the one sport at which I truly excel – gabbing. I am a 60+ year letterwinner at gabbing. At the same time, we work our ka-dunk-a-dunks pretty hard for 30 minutes. I hate it but I love it. You know the drill.

Yesterday, she told me about her new exercise group. It sounds great! I might even want to join! She said she goes to . . .


Now, that’s my idea of a great exercise group. You sit around and do those dumb-looking guru stretches for a few minutes. And then everybody dives into their own delicious PIE!

The whole idea of a pie feed goes so beautifully with yoga – losing yourself in Nirvana and stuff. Mmmmm! Nirvana, all right. What would be MY karma? Black bottom? Boston crème? Caramel apple?

Noooooooot exactly. My sister crisply informed me that it’s “PI” YOGA – as in the “PI” in “PILATES.” That is an extremely strenuous, difficult, terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad exercise. It is only for people who really know what they’re doing. For people who probably haven’t had PIE or anything ELSE very yummy since Gandhi last contemplated his navel.

Mine is still an inch or two deep – my navel, that is, on account of my belly flab. So I’d better start thinking a little more about that perfect attendance award for exercising, and a little less about (sob!) PIE.

By Susan Darst Williams • www.LifeWithTheElderberries.com • © 2019

1 Comment

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